The New Costco...Same as the Old Costco.

As an extravert, let me just tell you right now:

Self-quarantine sucks.

I am quarantined not because I have COVID-19 or have even been exposed, but because I DON'T WANT IT. I venture out of this house with Playtex Living Gloves on my hands, an entire hand/glove-washing kit complete with soap, and Clorox Disinfecting Wipes in a baggie in my purse to wipe down said gloves before I touch anything important like ME.

Seriously. I've never been so happy to own several pairs of those gloves in my life. I have a routine: wash a pair, dry a pair, wear a pair. Although I will admit, I don't want to leave the house again for a while to go anywhere that people are. I will gladly venture out of the house to see my pals Cherie and Larry, in part because Cherie and I, both extraverts, are LANGUISHING without being around other people and being together is good. They're family, and they are both taking this thing seriously, for which I am grateful, because right now we need to take COVID-19 very, very seriously. But in terms of going to a place with a bunch of strangers to acquire things? No, thanks. I did that today.

I went to Costco.

I have been trying to stay on top of what I need and not venture out of the house all that much, and last night I looked at my large bottle of Target-Brand Zyrtec and went...crap. Three pills left. I looked online and, of course, the least expensive place to acquire this stuff is Costco.

So I went. I contacted Cherie, and she said they were getting pretty low on toilet paper, something I'd just happened to buy enough of for me in late January. I figured there was no shot of me acquiring the TP for her, but I thought I'd try.

Let me tell you, it was an experience.

Normally, you just walk up to the cart area, grab a cart, and get in the door. Not today. No, see, they'd gotten in a shipment of the golden TP the previous night. They were allowing 50 people max at a time into the store. So I had to go grab a cart, wait in the line outside with added security--yes, really--until I was allowed in, and make a beeline for the very back corner of the store, diametrically opposed to the entrance--right along with everyone else.

Which I did.

I was told, "You're lucky. There will be some left when you get in."

As I waited, I noticed that there was a sign outside with "YES" and "NO" writ large. There were items listed underneath each: YES to Paper Towels and Toilet Paper, NO to hand sanitizer and baby wipes. As things sold out, they moved things from the YES to the NO column. By the time I left, the coveted TP had moved spaces and they were no longer monitoring number of people in the store. 

It was the Kirkland/Costco brand of toilet paper, by the way, and only one very large package per customer allowed. A Costco employee handed it to me in a line and  then I kept going. So I did keep going. I went and bought some essentials for my life: eggs, cream cheese, sour cream, cheese, more cheese, even more cheese, and of course the aforementioned Zyrtec. I also stocked up on a couple other items that I was not super low on but enough that I won't have to come back for two months if need be.

My freezer is now full.

But being in a store with a limited number of people, particularly a Costco, was a very different experience. It was interesting because the parts of the store that sometimes have some people in them, such as office supplies or small appliances...nope. Nobody. Wine? Nobody. Meat aisle? Needed a bulldozer to get through, even with a limited number of people in the store. They were selling fast out of some essentials. A lot of people had the Rotisserie Chickens in their carts.

Panic just does things to people.

I wasn't panicked, honestly. I grabbed the TP for Cherie, the all-important Kirkland brand knockoff Zyrtec for me, and cheese because...cheese. But there was this sense of deep foreboding amongst those at the Costco. People are afraid, because the world changed pretty quickly out here--it looks really different than it did a week ago.

People are afraid of the actions of other people.

Which sucks.

I know that we want to believe the best of others and we don't want a "few bad apples to spoil the bunch". But let me tell you: when people are scared, they are not kind. I could see it in the eyes of those around me today. I nearly ran over a man who looked like Armie Hammer is going to look 10 years from now--tall, gorgeous, foreboding--and he looked angry and affronted. He did not acknowledge my apology. He came around a blind corner and cut it. I couldn't possibly have seen him, and I was in the "correct" lane, as it were. 

I did not get angry with Not-Armie. Because even gorgeous 6'5" men can be scared of 5'2" women in a Costco in times like these.

I looked it up online: as of Friday, there were 6, count 'em, 6 cases of COVID-19 confirmed in Yolo County. This is 6 more than were reported on Friday for Oswego County, mind (we're always the last to get everything, to semi-quote Sam Herwood), a factoid for which I am exceedingly grateful, because many of you have asked how my father is doing. The answer? Just fine. This is the man who INVENTED Social Distancing in the 60s, WAY before it was cool. He's grousing because he can't go get his afternoon cup of coffee at the place he likes to go to, but as it was sludge that probably kept him up at night, I'm hoping he'll sleep better. 

I am grateful that he lives in a place where COVID-19 hasn't exactly arrived yet.

As for me, I live with my mother in my head. My mother kept her anxiety hidden from some of you, so you might not know that my mother probably single-handedly kept Wet Ones in business for several decades. She ALWAYS had them somewhere. She had to be this way, because she worked with Kindergarteners. There's a reason that she bought Jergens Lotion by the jug, because she went through it--always put it on after washing her hands, which was upwards of 30 times a day.

So I live with her in my head, and that's the reason that when I venture out, I have all the tools I need to pretty much rid myself of COVID-19 on my person. In fact, I will bet you a very big cookie that you have all the tools in your house necessary to pretty much rid yourselves of COVID-19, right at your disposal.

I give you: SOAP.

Yep.

SOAP.

For real, it is better than disinfecting wipes, especially for your skin. It will, in fact, help you tremendously. You have to USE ENOUGH OF IT because Soap is an emulsion and that emulsion has to be worked mechanically on your hands and surfaces to MAKE VIRUSES GO AWAY.

AKA: RUB THOSE HANDS TOGETHER AND RUB ALL THE SURFACES. DO NOT FORGET YOUR THUMBS. SING THE CHORUS OF STAYING ALIVE (the ah-ah-ah-ah Staying Alive, Staying Alive part) FOUR TIMES OVER AND VOILA, 20 SECONDS.

If you stay 6 feet away from other humans, cover your hands while out because THAT'S where you'll get it into your system, and wash everything--including all of you--regularly with SOAP, you can weather this thing.

I'm not saying go out and have SOAP parties. That's ludicrous.

But understand this: I don't necessarily take all of these precautions just for me. Odds of me beating COVID-19 are no worse than average. I have people in my sphere, however, who are at higher risk. Cherie and Larry are two of them, by virtue of age. And I will not, WILL NOT, have it on my head that I exposed them. Right now, I am their only source of TP and other things.

Which means I can't go out and just do things like I used to. I don't just hop down to Raley's if I need something. Myself, my gloves, soap (yes, really), water, disinfecting wipes--we all go together now. I know I might look like I'm overreacting, but let me tell you something: I am determined.

I do NOT want to get to heaven only to hear my mother say "I would die again of mortification because you didn't listen to me about soap and disinfecting wipes!"

Stay safe at home, folks. I know it sucks. But we're going to get through this together.

I think.


PS:
My source on soap and hand-washing is courtesy of the great ALTON BROWN and his hand-washing video (this is the "no cleaver"/SAFE one--don't ask):   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIwdf3WKe3Y

Yay science!