Dear Jesse McCartney

Dear Jesse McCartney,

I have been watching this season (as every season) of the Masked Singer with interest. I accidentally figured out that it was you behind the mask of the Turtle fairly early. The Masked Singer was made for people like me. I love figuring things out, and I in particular love to match people's voices. I have an unusually good ear. I also have a degree in Music and know quite a bit about singing.

I'm writing to you today because I listened to you all season and heard something I hadn't heard with you years ago on the radio. I heard a singer. Not just a good-looking guy who can sing--we have plenty of those going around--but an actual singer, someone who understands about his breath support and tone and when to hit those As with full voice and when to float them into a bit of falsetto space.

So I went and listened to some of your catalog, and one thought kept cropping up, so I'm going to just tell you: "This guy is singing the wrong genre of music."

Your recent catalog of music is all of a genre I refer to as "overproduced". I'm sure you understand what I mean. I mean, they auto-tuned you on your latest song. They auto-tuned your last entire album. And you don't need it.

If you're about to have an argument with me in your head, sir, about the fact that producers now go in to "spruce up" even good vocals and that EVERYONE is auto-tuned now (yes, even Adele, folks), I'm going to say the following:

1. No, not everyone is auto-tuned now, because if you auto-tune a blues singer, you get crappy music because the note that we refer to in Music Theory as "B-flat-7-flat", aka that "blues third", is not part of the equal temperament that auto-tune is based on.
2. Even if someone did want to go in and "zhuzh" up your vocals, they don't have to make it so blatant.
3. Yes, some live vocals are auto-tuned, but considering that you produced a few blues thirds during your time on Masked Singer, it's safe to say that yours were not.
4. Yes, I really can hear the difference, even if it's subtle. (I recently took auto-tune quizzes listening to people online. Passed with flying colors, and some of them were very subtle.)

If there is one thing I pray to God you take away from this experience, it's this: there are a lot of Gen-Xers and older Millennials who are DYING for good singers who can sing that genre of rock that is in the vein of Daughtry and Goo Goo Dolls and U2. I mean, I was WAITING for you to haul out Beautiful Day, which you would have killed (you seem to like singing in D, which it is).

And absolutely no offense to Chris Daughtry, Johnny Rzeznik, or Bono, but you have a better instrument than all three of them--and I will freely tell anyone that I think Daughtry is a magnificent artist and I will die on that hill if necessary.

I want you to go find a man named Butch Walker, tell him to stop being melancholy long enough to produce your next album, and go work with someone who will put you back on the charts where I know you want to be. And yes, it will be a rock album.

It seems that you genuinely like pop music, Jesse. And there's nothing wrong with that. I like rock music, but NOBODY is EVER going to ask me to sing heavy rock. Ever. I had to make peace with the fact that I sound like Martina McBride and Sara Bareilles. I need a ton of melody and the instrumentation cannot be too heavy-sounding--more Phil Collins than Def Leppard for me.

Please, sir, I am begging you on behalf of good music everywhere: embrace the fact that this amazing voice you have was designed for so much more than you've given it so far. Go make an album without synthesizers and with a whole lot of edge. Please.


With great affection,
Kate